There are three responses to hating a job: keep hating it, change the job, or change your attitude. I spend a lot of time focusing on the “change your job” option because I think that it is usually the best, most practical option.
That being said, stirring up discontentment and trying to draw attention to how much better things could be with a better fitting job (a big part of this site’s approach) sometimes fails to generate action. Instead, there are some people who, for whatever reason, cannot make a change due to self-imposed or external conditions. It might be fear, finances, responsibilities, laziness, timing, uncertainty, or any number of other factors.
For those people, it’s important to take what steps you can to avoid stewing in your dissatisfaction. It does no good to continue to get worked up about your boss, your company, your role, or your paycheck if you don’t ultimately use that energy to make a change.
Now, I cover this approach from time to time as well. There are tips and tricks on how to enjoy work more that don’t require anything as radical as changing companies or careers. What I would like to see more of is a dedication to one approach or the other for each individual as is appropriate for his or her circumstances.
If you’re going to complain, take action. If you’re not going to take action, don’t complain.
What do you think? I know that I’ve been just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to complaining without taking action, so I don’t mean to come across as judgmental. It’s simply a matter of making your life as enjoyable as possible while at work, one way or the other (but not both).
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14 responses so far ↓
1 Cari // May 13, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Great perspective, Chuck~ I agree that you can’t just sit around complaining without taking action, but it’s good to have strategies for coping while exploring other options.
You can’t exactly have your cake and eat it, too, but some attitude adjustment can certainly keep you sane for a while!
2 Jason // May 13, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Too true, it’s a matter of putting things in perspective and realizing that the only way things are going to change is if you start making them. And if you can’t or won’t, then you’re going to have to figure out how to live with it or move on. It’s a hell of a lot less stressful when you can learn to take control or let go when you need to.
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”
–Reinhold Niebuhr
“I am totally never gonna quit this job but start complaining about it a little bit more!”
–Strong Bad
3 Mark M // May 14, 2008 at 1:57 am
So true and, although it’s not simple, it is possible to find some fun in even the worst job to get you through the (hopefully final) days. Some tips from my past as an unhappy office monkey:
Make it a game:
* Make a to-do list for the day, and enjoy crossing off every completed task. Use a big red marker or crayon. Yeah, crayons are fun.
* Make your to-do list for tomorrow before going home today, and then, hopefully, you won’t have to think about w#rk again when you leave.
* Give yourself points when you complete a task - different levels of point for different types of task - and try to beat your top score for a day. Make a snazzy table in Excel and track your top scores à la Space Invaders.
* Give yourself a reward if you clear off every item on your to-do list for a day.
Run away:
* Get out of work - take a long lunch at least once a week, if you can, and leave work for an hour or more in the middle of the day.
* Eat lunch outside. Take a walk. Even a five-minute walk in torrential rain can be good, as long as you get outside and can clear your head.
* Take micro-breaks and stretch breaks. Remember to look up and focus on something far away every now and again.
* If you can work flexible hours, then don’t stress about getting to work at the same time every day. I made it a rule for myself that I prefer to get to work a half-hour later, and work that much later in the evening, if I need more time in the morning to shower and eat breakfast.
* Take a different route to work and/or home every day. It sounds silly, but it’s fun!
4 Eric S. Mueller // May 14, 2008 at 8:15 am
I once worked with a guy who really hated his job. Seriously, this guy was talking about looking for another job the day he started. Five years later, he was still there complaining about the job. One of our coworkers decided to handle this in a unique way: he would search for jobs and when he found one the other guy might qualify for, he would print it and put it on that guy’s desk. The complainer finally found another job and moved away. Ironically, he left on a Friday, and the following Monday, I got a job offer and put in my two weeks’ notice.
5 peggy // May 14, 2008 at 7:59 pm
I was really discontented with a job once…or I should say I was discontented with the boss at the job.
So I made a game of seeing if I could outlast him…and I did! When a corporate merger took place, his was the first head on the chopping block. I was able to stick around and finally opted not to stay with merged company but boy did I love outlasting the guy that made me hate going to work doing a job I loved.
6 Rachel // May 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Thank you for this post! Yes, some of us are stuck in our current positions for a variety of reasons. I have decided to use this time to test various suggestions of surviving. The best method I have found so far is to state the obvious: I don’t like my job. It was amazed how that simple statement changed my attitude: I gave up the fight with reality that comes with complaining yet not doing anything. Now, instead of complaining, I just roll my eyes and say “oh, yes, that’s why I hate my job.”
Mark M’s suggestions to “run away” are very valuable, too. It’s amazing how much difference a few minutes outside of the office can make.
7 Helen // May 15, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Rachel’s suggestion really made me laugh and I’m tempted to apply it, though I’m not sure it will be more appreciated than me complaining. I might use it next time anybody from my agency asks how the job is though.
Any articles about coping strategies in work will be very gratefully received as I’m stuck for another few months. Outside of work, fine I can find stuff to take my mind off it, it’s not so easy while I’m actually there.
The tricky thing is working out how to change your attitude and let things go.
Thank you for carrying on with this blog. It helps with the bad job
8 Sgt. V // May 16, 2008 at 9:14 am
come in late? leave early? take an extended lunch? track game scores in Excel…geez…why is your job so bad again? white collar blues….boo hoo
9 Tiffany Monhollon // May 21, 2008 at 11:04 am
I think that this is such a deep and complicated topic, there is no one, pat answer. You’re right that it’s very much a continuium of responsibility. The hardest decision to make is when you are doing all you can to change the parts you are responsibile for when your employer is doing nothing. How long should someone stay in that situation? Not long, if you want to avoid being miserable at work.
10 Chuck Westbrook // May 21, 2008 at 6:43 pm
@Cari– Can you have cake and complain about your job too?
@Jason– Could you please send me a link to that particular Strong Bad email? Sounds apropos.
@Mark–Good suggestions. Many times it requires a conscious down-shifting in your level of angst or effort or anxiety by any means necessary.
@Eric–That’s a great story. Reminds me of the US version of The Office where they try to get Dwight promoted away.
(I’ll finish replying to you all later, got to go now.)
11 Chuck Westbrook // May 21, 2008 at 11:44 pm
@Peggy–I hope he landed somewhere better, but I somewhat doubt it.
@Rachel–There’s an important shift when we realize that we’re somewhere for a short time and for purely practical reasons. Being in a job with no end in sight and without the disclaimer of “it’s just work, not a career,” is a frustrating place to be. Acceptance like you describe is somehow comforting.
@Helen–You’re very welcome. I’ll try to do a few more “coping strategy” posts in the near future. Hang in there!
@Sgt V–It’s all relative, friend. Point taken, though.
@Tiffany–Thanks for the comment and good point. At some point, you’ve got to decide which side of the fence to be on.
12 Phil // Jul 7, 2008 at 3:00 am
Last year I started work on a website about happiness at work, as my big step towards doing what I love for a living. One of our articles was on that very topic and we came up with 5 options rather than 3:
do what you love;
do more of what you love;
learn to love what you do;
learn to live with what you do;
leave what you do.
I’m not yet at the point where I can do what I love full time, but having that alternative in my life means I’ve been able to re-frame how I view the day job. And that = much more happiness all round!
13 margot // Oct 12, 2008 at 10:35 am
well, what are you supposed to do when you realized you needed to change your current situation, applied for jobs for the past 2 years, and no one else will hire you because they think your job sounds great!? and…the economy is terrible so there’s a hiring freeze! You are grateful for having a job, but want to cry every morning, and usually spend your days off crying….
I’m there. I don’t know what else to do.
14 Chuck Westbrook // Oct 22, 2008 at 7:34 pm
@margot I’m so sorry to hear about that. So they think you’re overqualified or something?
I would recommend seeking a honest and trusted adviser to coach you through this problem. I feel like there’s got to be more to the equation than people thinking your job is too great to hire you away from.
It might be that you’re overqualified. Maybe there’s some other factor you’re unaware of.
When you’re at a point of near desperation, I think it’s worth the effort and maybe even money to get the help of either a fantastic amateur or a pro.
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