I Hate Your Job

That Sinking Feeling

Picture yourself at your desk at work. You open your email inbox and sitting right at the top is a fresh email from your boss, your boss that you haven’t been getting along with for a while. The subject line reads, “Regarding your work.”

It leaps off the screen to your attention. Without looking, you know what it is–your boss rarely sends you friendly chit-chat. In rushes that sinking feeling…

Destructive Criticism

I hate moments like that. Getting criticized by a difficult person can be rough. Whether it’s in an email, over the phone, or face to face, criticism can be disarming and upsetting–even if it’s delivered gently. When it comes from an unfriendly source on a regular basis, it can be downright stressful.

Several of my job-hating readers have told me that the single greatest cause of dissatisfaction at their job has been an overly critical boss or a few vulturous co-workers. Sometimes the very culture of the workplace can be defined by unfriendly competition and tearing one another down.

Since even my job-loving readers struggle with accepting criticism, let’s just call it a nearly universal problem.

Five Little Steps

This morning I read a great little post with some good pointers on this subject over at Water Cooler Wisdom. It is one of my favorite blogs, and it happens to be written by one of my favorite bloggers. Her name is Alexandra Levit, and she’s such a nice person, I think from now on I’ll refer to her as Alexandra the Great on this blog (Alexandra, if you hate that, please let me know).

Whether the criticism is valid or not, her 5 tips should help you defuse that sinking feeling and take appropriate action:

1. Depersonalize the criticism (repeat to yourself, “it’s a specific behavior that’s the problem, not me as a person”).
2. Restate the comments for clarification (“what I heard was that this behavior is not acceptable”).
3. Seek guidance (“How could I do that differently? What change would be appropriate?”).
4. Process the input (ask yourself, “Is this criticism valid? Am I willing to make the change to eliminate the contention?”).
5. Review your progress/seek follow up (“I’m working hard to bring about the change we talked about. Do you have any suggestions for what else I can do?”).

Do yourself a favor and read the original post. There are other good thoughts that you should find helpful, including a pointer on handling unfair criticism.

What other tips do you find helpful for processing criticism?

Other Posts You Might Enjoy:

• Welcome lifehack.org Readers!
• A Tip for Handling Destructive Criticism: It’s Not About You
• An Alternative Approach to Handling Criticism: A Laugh for Your Wednesday
• If A Co-Worker Drank You, Would They Die?
• Have a Good Boss? Tell Them Today!