Sociopathic Time-Wasters In Your Office
Do you have a co-worker who seems to flaunt a complete disregard for what they are actually supposed to be doing?
Earlier this month, I wrote about the most commonly used and most effective technique for saving face when you are caught off-task on your computer. It’s called the GOTFAT Maneuver, and if you aren’t familiar with it, you might be in danger–you’d better read up.
Anyway, Maureen Rogers at Pink Slip brought my attention to a workplace sociopath with whom I am familiar–a type of worker so totally lacking the instinct to at least appear to be on task that they become defined by their recklessness.
These are the FATHEADS.
- Fully
- Apathetic
- Towards
- Hiding
- Egregious
- Actions.
- Dismissed
- Swiftly.
You know the guy who brazenly manages his fantasy football team from 11-2 each day? FATHEAD.
How about the receptionist who, on a regular basis, forces people to wait at her desk as she finishes her personal phone calls before attending to them? Yep, huge big ol’ FATHEAD.
Asleep-at-his-desk guy? Two-hours-AWOL-per-day girl? Left-an-internet-game-on-his-screen-when-he-want-to-lunch dude?
Massive, swollen FATHEADS. All of them.
Though not all look like this, some might.
Of course, as the name implies, these people are usually “dismissed swiftly.” That means “fired with a quickness.” As they go down in flames, however, they are sure to provide amusement and consternation in equal measures until the day they relinquish their little plastic ID badge.
For those of you expecting to get the first installment of “The 9 Circles of Job Hate,” fear not! That’ll be along later this afternoon/early this evening.
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6 responses so far ↓
1 Ryan Johnson // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Dear Chuck,
Against my better judgement, I’m perpetuating an email chain letter. Please see my post of July 31, 2007 and act accordingly. Of course, no obligation to actually do it if you don’t want to.
Regards,
Ryan
2 Chuck Westbrook // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:45 pm
@Ryan– As much as you promise that I won’t be stuck with 7 years of bad luck if I don’t do it, I just can’t shake the notion…
Nevertheless, I’ve just put up 3 posts back-to-back-to-back, so I’d better let my readers breathe for a bit before I give them anything else.
3 GnomeyNewt // Aug 1, 2007 at 12:03 am
OMG, this is soooooooo funny. I can’t stop laughing. They do serve a purpose I guess, which is amusement… they are funny for a little bit and after they are gone, you can joke about it.
4 Chuck Westbrook // Aug 1, 2007 at 2:00 am
@GnomeyNewt– What a compliment, thanks! We certainly referenced the departed FATHEADS on occasion for laughs.
5 Cassidy // Aug 1, 2007 at 9:02 am
As a teacher, I often observe slightly different manifestations of these characteristics. I worked with a full-time substitute who often wouldn’t show up (she was absent 35 days out of the last 90), and she chose her own lesson plans instead of following those left for her. Needless to say, she wasn’t asked back.
6 Chuck Westbrook // Aug 1, 2007 at 11:22 am
@Cassidy– One word: FATHEAD.
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